Monday, July 6, 2009

i think i may have made someone cry today

The nice part of me feels really bad cuz I hate seeing people cry, especially when I'm the cause. But the other part of me, the boss part, knows it needed to happen and feels that it was done it the best possible way.

I wasn't rude but I also didn't hide how upset I was that such a huge mistake had been made. It should never have happened in the first place. She knows better. I certainly didn't hide the fact that she should have known better, especially since she has been talked to about it before. I told her in absolute sincerity of the many ramifications that could occur because of this issue and why it's against company policy to do exactly what she did.

I probably could have been a little more compassionate but there comes a time when you have to throw away the nice guy attitude and kick some sense into people. Unfortunately, there's really no way to do that with out coming across as a total B&^$%. It sucks. Believe me. I hate being having to be like this cuz it's so not me.

I hate my job on days like this.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

today is the day that something or other happened

That something or other is that Maverick's fountain drink machine was out of Diet Pepsi and my straw broke. What's the big deal? Nothing really, just thought I'd share my pain and sorrow with you. Thanks for listening... err uhhh reading :0)

Sunday was interesting. I felt like a blimp and therefore was super self conscious and then we had a lesson in Sunday school about the Word of Wisdom. This made an already self conscious Ash even more self conscious because I had my hair in a pony tail that day which showed both of my tattoos to everyone behind me all while people were commenting that tattoos defile our bodies. I felt like people were staring at me making judgements. I'm sure most if not all of it was in my head but I get paranoid when I'm feeling more than awful about... well ... me. Anywho, later that night as I was getting ready for bed I started thinking about the lesson and how amazing Heavenly Father is. Why is he amazing? For a plethora of reasons, but in this case it's because I had seriously been thinking about getting another tattoo while on vacation in San Fran. I find it so amazing and funny that right when I'm thinking about this we have a lesson on the very same thing. It made me think about why it is that I adhere to the no smoking, no drinking, no drugs, no coffee, etc, etc rules and yet fr some reason the no tattoo guideline holds no sway over me. I was thinking about how hypocritical it is for me to be ok with the one while I'm not with the others and about how if I make concessions for one thing, then I'll start making concessions for other things and then I'll probably wind up a chain smoking 25 year old with 16 children from 16 different men....probably not but still. When you let one thing slide you normally start to let other things slide. Not a good thing, especially since I''m trying really hard to come back to the church.

In other news, I bought a really cool church book for converts. Although I have been a member of the church for most of my life (converted when I was 9) I really don't know much about the church or it's principles. Anyway, I've read two chapters of it thus far and am totally loving it. They add a great sense of humor to their explanations for a lot of the things in the church that converts get confused by.

In even more other news, I had the great privilege of writing a somewhat angry letter to one of Westminster's deans on behave of one of my agents. It was super fun since most of the time when I want to write an angry letter or reply I can't because then I'd be fired. Don't worry, I wasn't rude or anything, just straightforward and yeah.. it was great.

I have homework to do so I shall say adieu.


*kloveyabye*


P.S. I facebook/blogger stalked the guy from my ward again, yesterday and today though not nearly as much so that's both a good sign and a bad sign.

P.S.S. I walked next to above mentioned guy on Sunday going from Sunday school to the chapel. I wanted to say something to him but all I could come up with was (referring to the walk to the chapel where everyone is packed together in a narrow hallway) "Don't you feel like cattle making the long, slow walk to be butchered?" Yeah, that was lame... especially since I was referring to us going to Sacrament meeting. So I said and did nothing. I should have smiled... yeah that would have been smart. sigh....