Monday, December 13, 2010

Letters #1

Dear Self,

Do you remember Thanksgiving and how glorious it was? Do you remember being able to eat and not feeling like you were going to die of pain afterward? Wasn't it wonderful?

Do you remember the pizza incident? Yeah, it was bad. Really bad. The pain was so bad that you were practically bed ridden  the entire night.

So why? Why do you keep doing it? Why do you keep eating things with gluten when you know what it will do to you? Do you want to feel like holes are being burned through your stomach repeatedly? Because that's exactly what will happen if you continue.

So please remember Thanksgiving dinner. Remember that it is possible and easy to eat gluten free with a little planning.

me and your tummy

Dear makers of this sweater,

If only I could make you understand how much I love and long for this sweater. Sadly, it cannot be mine since you do not make it in a plus size. Why is this? It is a very flattering style for bigger girls and I wouldn't think it'd be that much work to make it a size or two larger.

I mean come on, if you think skinny jeans flatter us (which they don't - trust me!) why not this sweater??


Dear cute boy,

You are cute but also frustrating.
I want to talk to you, I do, but not if I'm the only one carrying the conversation.
Next time, hows about you ask me some questions, deal?


Dear handsome/sexy/rakish man,

I like you.
Do you like me?
I honestly don't know sometimes.
Some days its yes. Some days no.
Right when I start to get you out of my head you do something to catch my attention again.
I'm so confused.


Dear California Screamin',

I thought you were going to kill me. But you didn't. Instead you let me over come my fears of roller coasters and allowed me to have an awesome time.

Thank you. Love you long time.


Dear Patrick,

I am muchos excited to start training classes with you tomorrow. I know you will love them and you will catch on quickly because you are a super smart puppy.

You are adorable, especially when you make that groaning sound when I rub your ears. And when you tilt your head to the side when you're trying to figure something out.

Silly little boy.


Dear video,

I find you ridiculously hilarious.


Dear Riley,

I adore you. You are such a good, sweet tempered little lady and I am so blessed to be your person.

Thank you for keeping me company when I'm sick. Thank you for the cuddles and sweet kisses. Thank you for being such a good pup pup.

But please stop sitting next to my bed at 4 AM staring at me. Its creepy.

Love you!


Dear sign,

I really wish you said "Tasty Wieners".