Wednesday, February 10, 2010

life is like a box of chocolates... never know what you're gonna get.

True that Forrest. True that.

Today while at work I started thinking about how I'm going to be turning 25 this year. Well, I think about it a lot actually. It's not that I think 25 is old, because I don't. It's just that I don't feel like I should be 25.

I was trying to explain this to my co-worker La Cheryl over our joint cubicle wall when suddenly I was bombarded with tons of IM's and shouts from people around the office threatening me with bodily harm for thinking 25 was old (I never said that, just so you know). I vowed to all of them that I would never have a conversation in the office again if this was the result. Then we all laughed. My ploy worked :0)

Anyway, what I mean by all of this is that I had planned to be at a completely different place in my life when the big 25 hit. I had a 10 year plan darn it! It was a very nice plan that I really, really, really wanted to happen.

According to my plan, I should have been married for 4+ years by now, having finished school with a double major in History and French and a masters in Education. I should be teaching High School students right now. Wowing them with my knowledge of Medieval History and instilling a love of the French language in them just like my French teacher in high school did with me. I should be newly pregnant or at least trying to get pregnant with my first little baby. I should be planning a beautiful life with my growing family.

That ladies and gents is what my life should be like... if plans work the way they're supposed to.

Life however doesn't adhere to plans. Unless of course it's God's plan.

No matter how much I crave that little baby right now or wish for the comfort of a forever love I know that right now, this is where I'm supposed to be. I still have a lot to learn and a lot to work on before I'll be ready for the gifts that Heavenly Father has in store for me. I am so thankful to Him for knowing me better than I know myself.

I'm sure most of you don't know this but I was engaged when I was 18. I was head over heels in love with this man and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I was willing to do anything, and I mean anything, to be with him. And I did. I changed who I was. I changed my values for him because he came from a different world. He came from a different lifestyle that he didn't want to give up for me. So I gave up myself for him.

The Spirit told me that I shouldn't be with him. Every single time I saw or spoke to him I always got the clear command "No, don't do this. You should not be doing this".

"Pffft", I thought back, "how do you know what I should be doing? (stupid, I know) I love him. We have such a strong connection and have since the beginning. How could this not be right?"

Luckily, I had a Heavenly Father who cared more about me and my well being than I did. The relationship soon ended. I was crushed but eventually came to the realization that my life would have been horrible had the relationship continued. I cannot even begin to tell you how grateful I am for that divine intervention because, even though I'm not where I wanted to be at this age, I know I am where I'm supposed to be.

I am happy.

I have lived a good life thus far.

A life that I wouldn't trade for the world.

So, even though you never know what you're gonna get with life, at least you know it's gonna be good!

Yeah that was cheesy... yet awesome.


Have I mentioned how baby hungry I am? Yeah, it's getting pretty ridiculous. I wish I lived near more people with babies. Then I could just steal a few for a while like Alexa did.

Tomorrow is the deadline to win some cookies made by yours truly. Just post a comment!



I feel the same way about being 22. Not that I think 22 is old by any means, it just doesn't match the way I feel. I don't know if I feel younger, or if it's just like you said about things not being the way I used to picture them. I guess things never do turn out exactly according to our plans and as frustrating as that is it is also kind of exciting. I like the idea that in 10 years I could be somewhere I never would have even thought to expect. I love that you can be so honest and awesome on your blog (and in person, but let's stick to the topic lol). Lots of Love, Taryn


haha Alexa.. stealing babies.. hehe. I love that girl. Cute blog! And- you have a good head on your shoulders! This post was great (:


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