Tuesday, January 5, 2010

marriage is what brings us together today?

I was pretty discouraged today. A couple coworkers and I were having a discussion on marriage. Well, they had a discussion about marriage while I listened in amazement. Not because it was necessarily an enlightening conversation but because of how negative it was.

They were talking about how difficult it is, and how annoying/frustrating your partner can be, and how demanding they can be. They were talking about how all it is a piece of paper and it doesn’t really mean anything.

Now that I’m sitting here and writing about it it doesn’t seem nearly as bad. But while it was going on I couldn’t help thinking how sad it was that they had these views about something as sacred as marriage. It seemed completely foreign to me.

I’m not one to put marriage on a pedestal and think that once I get married life will be perfect and wonderful forever and ever. I come from a broken family. I come from the second of three failed marriages. I have glimpsed what it takes to make a marriage work and what it takes to make it fail. I know that it’s not easy. That both parties have to work hard at it. That both parties have to be willing to do what it takes to make it work. I also know that focusing on the bad stuff will ruin any relationship.

People are annoying. Period. We all come from different backgrounds, values, etc. We are all individuals. That’s how our Heavenly Father made us. He made us to be different. He made men and women to be different because those differences put together make a whole. What one lacks the other makes up for. That’s how it’s supposed to be. That’s how it is.

With my background and the things I have seen and lived through I can honestly say that marriage scares me. To be that open with someone is really, really frightening to me. But I want to get married. I want to be with someone who gets me, who I can be completely open with and still know that they can love me for who I am, issues and all. I love thinking about spending all of eternity with my best friend. That is what marriage is to me and I can’t wait to take that journey.


*kloveyabye*



P.S.

You must see this movie. EPIC!

5 comments:

Alexa Mae

you may not know this, but you gave me an answer today that i have been praying about. you are right...focusing on the bad will ruin any marriage.
ash, marriage IS hard but it is so worth it. you are right. and it is even better that you know what you want and dont want in a marriage.

xoxo love ya!

Connie

This post was beautiful! Sounds like you already know some key things about marriage and about making it work. I didn't know a darn thing about it when I sealed the deal. It definitely does take work but don't be scared of it. Heavenly Father wants it for everyone - I think to make us grow (and of course to have a family).. but you can take comfort in knowing marriage blesses us too. Otherwise what would be the point. OK, I'm done rambling...Your blog is great!

Ash

Thanks guys!

While I was writing I was seriously thinking of just deleting it. The whole convo seemed like such an insignificant thing in retrospect but I felt like I needed to write down my feelings about it.

I'm so glad it helped Alexa. You have no idea how many times your blog has helped me. You are AWESOME!!!

Connie - I adore your pictures. They're beautiful and you truly have a wonderful gift. If only I lived in AZ...

Niki {A*Lovely*Lifestyle}

thank you for your sweet comment.

my mom and dad had a great marriage. she told me time and time again that "marriage is hard work." and it is. but it is soooo worth it!

Kaitlyn

You are so right!! About all of it! I come from a broken home too! I'm from failed marriage number 3 of 3. And I'm so scared of relationships in general. I'm not even in college yet (less than 5 months) but I fear talking to guys because I'm afraid of being open and getting hurt. My biggest fear is divorce. It makes me feel better to know that I'm not the only one who feels like this! Sometimes I feel like I'm alone in this!!